French For I Love You
by Butterfly Wish
Summary: Even with everything going on in my life, I still had my hope - The story of Seth's Imprit.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hey, i just started this new story a couple of days ago. I know i still owe you guys that chapter 6 on my other story, but i promise it will be coming out real soon. i really hope that you enjoy this one. please please please review and tell me if i should go on or just forgot about it.**

**Thanks yall, Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 1 - Goodbye**

"Miss? Miss?" I could hear someone calling in my ear and a hand shaking my shoulder, but my mind was not here. I could still hear my mum's voice, _tu me manques beaucoup. _I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Miss? Are you alright? Is there anyone who you would like us to call?" I looked up at the emergency room doctor. He looked tired and concerned. I felt myself come back down to earth.

"No" I said grimly "We have no one here. It was just me and my parents"

"Any distant relatives that live in another state?"

My mind flashed back to the day my dad told me about his brother, my uncle, William Black. He told me they never talked since my dad had left La Push when he was eighteen.

"I…I think we might have a relative down at Washington DC. His name is William Black"

"Your uncle?" He looked hopeful.

"I never met him. I don't know his number or address. I don't even know if he still lives in his home town" I was crying. I could feel the panic in my voice. I wanted to scream at him, _you fucking idiot._

"Doctor" I looked at the nurse at the door. The doctor exchanged a look with her and nodded.

"We put your parents in a room, if…if you want to say goodbye" With that he put a hand on my shoulder and stood up "We'll try and track down your relative. Do you want us to make the call?"

I shock my head no. He left the room and I just sat there and let guilt take over.

Yes, I had to be the prima, I had to have it all. Did I think of them at all? What they want? What they need?

How could I have been this selfish. The last time I showed up to a family dinner was two months ago. Was my independence really that more important that my parents?

"Miss, you need to come down at the front desk and sign some paper work" A nurse came and put her hand on my shoulder.

"What room are my parents in please?" I asked with tears welling up my eyes.

"Room 16B, right down the hall" She gave me a sympathetic smile and left.

I got up from against the wall and started to make my way towards the room. When I reached the door, I had to take a couple of hard breaths. The air felt like ice being shoved down my throat and I couldn't take it in. It felt like I was suffocating.

I finally got the guts to open the door and closed it behind me. The room was dimly lit and there they were. My parents were at separate beds, covered to the neck by white sheets. They looked so pale. Even my dad, who had russet skin.

I was so scared to take another step. Every step I took made it all the more real and I still couldn't accept it.

My breath caught up in my throat and my sight was becoming blurry from all the tears now. I took a couple more steps and I was right next the bed where my mum laid. Still, so still. There was nothing, silence, no sound but my rough breathing.

I reached down and kissed her forehead and her cheek. I went around and did the same with my father. I caressed his face and took in his features.

I moved my forehead against his and held his face with my hands and I couldn't contain myself. I was crying now. I was breaking down. I looked up and my father's face was covered in my tears. I let go of him and went and laid beside my mother. I held her to me.

"I am so sorry. This is all my fault" I was crying very hard now and moans of pain escaping my lips "I wish I could take back time. I would have been different, I would have done things differently"

I caressed her soft cheek and buried my face in her hair. She smelled like home, she smelled like vanilla and honey milk. I sobbed and caught my breath. I felt lost. I missed her so much. I missed them both so much.

"I am sorry I wasn't a good daughter. I wish I could have made you proud" I pulled back and brushed off some hairs on her face and kissed her on the cheek "Tu me manques maman"

I looked up to my lifeless father while still holding my mother "I miss you so much"

I got up from mum's bed and stumbled down to the ground between both of their beds. I could feel anger creeping up in me. I covered my face with my hands.

"You can't just leave me here" I was screaming the words out "I need you so much"

I gathered myself off the floor and went quickly holding my mum by her shoulders "Wake up" I was begging her. I didn't know the outcome and I didn't know if what I was doing was rational. I knew there was no use, but I wouldn't stop myself.

I turned back to my father and went and held his face again "Daddy, please, come back to me" I shook my head in disappointed and brought my forehead to his once more. My erratic sobs and cried were starting to calm down. I pulled back slowly, closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm me down.

I moved my face closer to my dad and rubbed my cheek against his, then rubbed my nose against his, just like we used to do when I was a baby girl.

"I love you both so much more than my own life" I said as I hugged him to me "I would sell my soul if it means that it would bring you back to me"

I pulled back and looked at his face trying to take it in. I kissed his forehead and both cheeks again. I caressed his face and brushed some hair off his face. "I am always going to be your little girl daddy. I love you very much" I kissed his forehead one last time before turning to mum.

I hugged her "You are the greatest person I have ever known in my life. If there was anything good in me, it's because of you" I kissed her cheeks "Je t'aime maman"

I hugged her again and kissed her one last time. I took a couple of steps away from her and looked at both my parents. I knew that right now, I had to leave or I will never be able to leave at all.

I practically ran outside and fell down against the wall and started crying again.

"Baby?" I looked up to see a very familiar face.

"Sean" He ran to me and threw himself beside me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Am here. Am here" He rocked me back and forth holding me real tight against his chest "Am so sorry I couldn't get here sooner. Am so sorry you had to go through this alone. But am here now and I promise I won't leave your side"

I felt comforted to an extent. But I was tired, I was so tired and relived that finally someone was here to hold me.

"Miss?" I looked up and saw the same nurse from earlier "You need to come down now and fill up some forms and sign some papers"

I nodded my head and tried to get up. But Sean was faster than me. He got up and practically carried me up the floor till I was on my feet. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and helped me walk up to the front desk.

The nurse handed me a couple of papers and a pen. I looked up at Sean.

"I'll take care of it babe. Don't worry about anything" He rubbed my arms for a minute before leading me to sit on a small couch in the waiting area to fill out the papers.

"Miss Black" I looked up to find the emergency room doctor standing next to me "We found a number for your uncle's place. He does still live in Washington. I didn't call him just like you requested. Here is his number, so you can call him if you want. But I recommend you do, because we would need to know the burial arrangements"

He was holding a paper out for me but I couldn't reach my hand to pick it up. Thank God for Sean.

"Thank you, we'll take care of it first thing" He took the paper from the doctor and shook his hand.

We sat there for a while, while Sean filled out everything. He would ask me a question he didn't know the answer to every now and then. Then in the end, he handed me the papers to sign my name at the end of the forms.

When we were done, Sean got up and went to give the nurse the papers. He came back sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me to his chest and hugging me. I rested my head on his shoulder and breathed him in.

"Do you wanna call your uncle now babe?" He spook softly.

I shook my had no.

"You gotta. He has to know his brother is…." He trailed off, obviously trying not to remind me or upset me. But it didn't matter. I was already there.

"What if he didn't remember him? What if he said that he didn't care what the hell happened to his brother?" I was crying again.

"I would be right here sweetie. But I doubt it. Your dad was - "

"He is Sean. My dad still is everything" I cut him off stiffly. I couldn't stand that he talked about my father using past tense.

"Am sorry. I am so sorry. Your father is a really kind and gentle man. I bet his brother is just the same. Come on babe, you need your family and they need you too. You're the only part left of your father to them"

I was silent for a while "I have no family. The only family I got is not here anymore" I started crying softly again.

"Not true. What about me? I love you so much and am going to be here for you for as long as you want. And yes, you have a family baby. They just need to know about you"

I shook my head again.

"Come on baby girl. Am right here beside you." I looked up at him and he was giving me a pleading look.

I got out of his grip and got my cell phone while he handed me the number. I dialled the number. It rang almost four times. I was about to give up when someone picked the phone up.

Someone yawned before saying "Hello?" His voice was young and husky. Obviously tired.

"Can…umm…Can I please speak to William Black?"

There was a long pause on the other side. I looked up to Sean for help and he just smiled lovingly and nodded for me to wait.

"Who is this?"

"I'm Jaime. Jaime Black"

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two - La Push**

I was on a plane from Los Angeles heading towards Seattle, one hour away from landing.

Jacob Black, my cousin, was coming to pick me up from the airport and drive me up to Forks.

I had talked to my uncle, William, or let's rather say Billy. Nobody ever called him William anymore, that's why Jacob was taken aback when I had asked to talk to William. He thought I was the authorities or Billy was somehow in trouble in anyway.

Billy had been amazingly kind and compassionate and took me in without question. I heard the grief in his voice when I told him the new about my parents. He told me I must fly in immediately and that the funeral must take place in La Push and with the whole reservation present. He made all the arrangements so that my parents would fly in too. He apparently knew some really important doctor that knew a really important doctor that worked in the hospital that my parents had came in after the accident, and he was very helpful with everything.

I only had to pack a few things to last me a week and say goodbye to Sean. He couldn't fly in with me because of his work. I was so mad at him because he had promised to be with me every step of the way. And here I was all alone, going to meet a whole new part of my family that I had never known before, but I had nothing in hand to do.

I only knew the basics. Billy had three children, Jacob, who I had talked to on the phone for a brief moment, and two twin girls, Rachel and Rebecca. Rebecca was married and lived in Hawaii with her husband. I thought that was really cute. And Rachel just got married a couple of months ago, but still lived in La Push.

I was very nervous about meeting them all. And I couldn't hide it. Sean had to hold me all night long so that I would at least stop my erratic babbling. Yes, I babble a lot when I am nervous. And I say stuff that am always embarrassed about later.

A small ringing got me out of my thoughts, signalling that the captain has an announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will be landing in fifteen minutes. Please fasten your seat belts. Thank you for using our airline and we hope you enjoyed your flight with us"

I did my belt and slipped my feet in my ballerina shoes. I was relived we would be landing soon, my back was so stiff from sitting for so long in my seat. I grabbed my cross bag and double checked that everything that I got out was in. I didn't want to forget anything and figure I was missing something when I am almost five hours away from the airport.

Once we landed, I put my jacket on and rolled the scarf around my neck. I waited for the hallway to clear for a minute before I stood up. I didn't like to be pushed or squished by people. Plus I was paranoid someone was a lifter!

Once it was almost clear, I stood up and slid the bag across my shoulder and smoothed my hair back in case it was messy or anything. I made my way to the exit door and the stewardess smiled at me and wished me an enjoyable stay. _I doubt it._ I thought to myself.

I cursed under my breath once I got out. I was slapped in the face with the freezing cold weather. It touched me to the bone and I didn't know what I was going to do with myself since I didn't get anything heavy. Hell, I didn't own something _this_ heavy.

When I got into the terminal, I felt warmer instantly. They checked my ID and I passed into the waiting area, where passengers were welcomed by friends or family or simply someone accompanying them.

Jacob was supposed to wait for me, and it hit me that he didn't know what I look like and vice versa. I scanned the area and what I saw made me laugh.

A man in his mid twenties, tall, broad shoulders, well built, russet skin, short black hair, standing with a huge sign over his head that said in capitalized letters "JACOB BlACK" and an arrow pointing downwards towards his head.

I put my hand over my mouth and the giggles just kept coming. I liked him immediately and I haven't even talked to him yet.

I walked over with a smile on my face and he smiled back. He put down the sign and rested it against his long legs.

"Jaime?" His voice was deep and soothing, nothing like the one on the phone.

"JJ" I held out my hand but he didn't take it.

"You're blond!" He said in a shocked voice "And blue eyes! That's not quileute" He gave me a teasing smile. He then took my hand, pulled me to his chest for a quick hug. I couldn't help noticing how warm his hand and body is and it was weird since he was only wearing a thin polo and a leather jacket.

I blushed "I take after my mum" I shuddered as a picture of my mother in the hospital bed flashed in my head. Jacob eyed me for a moment, then I think he just let it go.

"You'll just have to do" He smiled again "Do you have luggage on you?"

I nodded and he led me to the luggage area and we waited for my bag to come out.

When the bag was out, I reached for it, but Jacob was faster than me.

"Let me" He carried the bad with one hand and didn't even bother for a trolley, he just headed for the exit. I stared at his back for a moment before following him. How is it that easy for him, I mean it's not light, even Sean had a hard time with it.

I felt the cold breeze before stepping outside, so I tried to stretch the sleeves of my jacket to cover my hands and wrapped my arms around myself.

"Oh shit!" I found Jacob in front of me "Here" He took off his jacket.

"What! No, you'll freeze" I was shocked at him. He chucked lightly.

"Don't worry about me, we're used to this kind of weather I'll survive. On the other hand, you won't!" He raised an eyebrow at me.

I wasn't at a position to protest, so I took the jacket and slid it around myself. It was huge and fell to my thighs, but I was content. This was definitely better.

We continued walking into the parking lot, until we reached a silver Volvo.

"I expected you with more bags and stuff, so I borrowed this from a friend" He said as he opened the back and put my bag in it.

I got into the front seat while he closed the back. He got in and immediately started the car and the heating system. He pulled out of the parking lot and headed out.

As the car started to warm down, I got a little comfortable. It was almost twenty minutes of silence before Jacob spoke again.

"I freaked you out didn't I?" He asked still eyeing the road. I was surprised by his question but decided to be honest and know what he's after.

"A little, yes" I said frankly, looking out front "I didn't expect you to be this open and friendly with me. You don't even know me and neither do I"

I stole a glance towards him and found he was smiling lightly. I saw him move his eyes to look at me from the corner of his eyes. When he saw me looking at me, he moved his head to look at me fully.

"What?!"

"Am waiting for your explanation" I folded my arms across my chest.

"I kind of checked you out" He said looking back to the road.

"Excuse me!"

"Not in that kinda way" He chuckled "I mean like I checked out your background and stuff" I just kept starting at him.

"I mean forgive my intrusion, but put yourself in my shoes, someone calls you and says they're a relative you never knew about. I just had to make sure you were who you said you are. Billy doesn't know I did it though" I didn't know what to feel, I wanted to feel angry but I couldn't. I knew I would have done the exact same thing, especially that if the relative had dead parents.

My mind wondered to my parents. And I started to swim in memories about home. I didn't realize that I had shifted in my seat that my back was to Jacob until he spoke again.

"Hey, am really sorry" I looked at him and he gave me a concerned look "I didn't mean to intrude on your privacy. I was just thinking of Billy and I don't mean to make you feel like I don't trust you, because I totally do"

I gave him a small smile "I know" My voice was a bit shaky "I would have done the same exact thing. I understand. And am glad that you trust me" He smiled at me.

I turned back to face the window and started wandering off again.

I think an hour passed in this silence when my phone went off. I turned and pulled the bag up from under my feet. I don't remembering opening the phone after leaving the plan. I probably forgot to switch it off to begin with.

I got my phone out and looked at the caller's ID. It was Sean.

"Hey babe!" His voice was cheery and I had missed him already.

"I miss you" I wasn't ashamed to say it in front of Jacob.

"I miss you too JJ" He almost cooed. I smiled.

"How is work?"

"This is why am calling now. Am being included in a really big case. Some drug dealing shit" His voice was extra excited and I could already see him smiling really wide.

"This is great baby" I was genuine "I just hope he doesn't pay you in some cocaine or any of the stuff"

"Like I would even touch that shit"

"You better not" I giggled.

"I miss you Jaime" His voice turned soft and husky. I sighed.

"I know. I love you"

"I love you too" I could here someone calling him in the background "I better go babe. I'll call you when I get home"

"Alright. Take care" I felt longing for his hold.

"You too. Bye" And he hung up.

"Sorry about that" I kind of wasn't, but had to be polite.

"No problem. It's just gonna be the same, if not worse, if my girl called me right now" He smiled wide and I could guess he was thinking about his girlfriend. I just nodded at him. He was silent for a long moment.

"No hard feelings, right?" His voice was a little bit tense.

"It's already forgotten Jacob. Don't sweat it" He looked at me and smiled kindly.

After that, we didn't talk at all. I was glad Jacob did not try to make small talk. I needed some time alone.

I rested my head against the side window and started to watch the scenery. Everything was covered in snow and it was beautiful. I closed my eyes and started to doze off.

I gained conscious when I heard Jacob talking on the phone. But I didn't open my eyes.

"Hey dad. Yea, we're only a couple of miles away. She dozed off like thirty minutes ago or something. She's…" He paused for a minute, then he sighed "She doesn't look too good, but that's expected Billy. I mean she just went through hell and came back" There was another pause and he sighed again "Yes Billy of course I was nice, what do you take me for!" He tried to sound sarcastic, but then Billy must have said something and he was serious again "Dad, I don't think she is ready to deal with this. You and Charlie can go through all the arrangements. Listen, we'll talk more when I get back, alright. Am almost there. Yea, see ya soon"

I tried hard not to spill the tears that were welling in my eyes, but a single tear escaped my eyes, betraying me.

I felt Jacob's warm hand creep up on my shoulder, rubbing very gently.

"Hey, we're almost there" He said quietly.

I shifted in my seat, just to tell him I heard him, but that I didn't wanna talk or anything else. I opened my eyes slowly and looked out the side window. We were now off the high way and in a narrower road. The forest got thicker and the trees seemed darker and taller. Everything was still covered in snow.

I saw the "Welcome To Forks" sign as we passed it. I sighed quietly. I saw Jacob take a swift glance at me and look back to the road.

We finally entered the small town. There was almost nothing. A couple of shops, a hospital, a diner. We passed the police station.

"Billy's best friend, Charlie, is chief of police" Jacob pointed out. I just nodded.

We kept on going until the trees started to lighten up on the left side of the road and the beach started. The ocean was so much different from L.A., it was darker and the waves were loud and high. The beach was covered in snow as well.

"Is it always like this?" I asked still looking out the window.

"What is always like what?" Jacob giggled.

"You know, winter. Everything is so white, wet and cold. Doesn't it get boring to look at?" I looked at him and he was smiling wide "What?"

"Nothing, you just remind me of my best friend. She used to think just like that when she moved up here like ten years ago. But she changed her mind once she met her husband" He chuckled "And no, it's not boring at all. We have so much fun around here in winter. All the snow fights and skating and out door stuff. It's really nice around here"

We were silent for a couple of minutes.

"Here we are" Jacob said as he took a smooth right turn down the road "Home sweet home"

I looked up ahead and saw a small, one floored, brick red house. It has a small brown porch, with big white windows and shuttles.

"It's not much, but…it's home" Jake smiled shyly.

"No…it's beautiful and warm. It reminds me of my…" I sighed "My home"

Jacob parked the Volvo, right in front of the front porch. He cut off the engine and opened the door to get out. He stopped when I didn't move.

"You coming? It's warmer inside" He smiled again. God, he was just so cheery. I just nodded at him. I got out and the cold hit me again. I went straight to the porch to wait for Jacob, until he got my bag.

Once he was on the porch steps, he gave her a teasing smile "It's open, by the way" And he just opened the door and got in. I followed him inside, where it was obviously warm and cozy.

I looked around the house. The kitchen was opened to the living room. There was a small table, with some chair around it, obviously the dining. The living room had a huge couch, two love seats and an armchair. They were obviously stuffed into the room. There was a small entertainment centre against the middle wall. There was a small hall that lead to four doors, obviously bedroom and bathroom.

"Jake, that you?" A deep voice came from down the hall. _Billy._

"Yea" Jake shouted "I'll put this in your room" He gestured to the bag, walking down to the second door on the left.

There was suddenly a loud thud coming from one of the rooms and something metal hitting the floor. Jacob ran into the opposite room.

"Dad are you alright?" Jacob's voice was loud and concerned.

"Am alright, just help me in my chair please" Billy's voice seemed distressed and weak. _Chair? _

Then my unspoken question was answered, as Jacob came out of the room, wheeling Billy towards me in a wheelchair.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: hey yall, thanks for returning and reading. i just wanted to say that am gonna start posting pictures for some of the clothes my characters would be wearing, just so you could see them better. i hope you enjoy this one.**

**thanks again for giving the time and reading. leave some love, please :'(**

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**Chapter Three - Quality Time**

Billy was smiling kindly at me. I couldn't help but smile back at him. He looked so much like my father, but his face was somehow older, wiser. His eyes were so intense and full of energy. His hair was long and held back into a pony tail.

"Jaime" Billy said with a nod towards me and a wide smile. I looked at Jacob, who was resting on the back of the couch. He nodded quickly as if encouraging me to go on.

"Uncle - "

"Please call me Billy right away, even my kids do it now that they are all grown up and ashamed to call me dad" He waved his hand at me.

"Am standing right here, _Billy_" Jacob said sarcastically "And didn't I just call you dad like a moment away"

I couldn't help but smile at the way they were mocking each other and how easy their relationship seemed to be so easy. _Just like my dad._ I could feel the smile falling from my face as an image of me and my father laughing over something I or he said.

"You look so much like your mother" I was snapped out by Billy's deep voice. I only nodded. I knew that if I spoke one work, it would be just chocked out. And when I said nothing he went on.

"And am only assuming that because you look nothing like George and we don't have anybody so beautiful" _George_.

"Hey, am pretty" Jacob snapped me out of my memory, and I smiled at his humour.

"Yea, yea sure" Billy rolled his eyes.

Jacob then came beside Billy, put a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want me to call Rachel?" He asked him as he bent down a little bit.

"No, that is alright. I called her right before you came and she is coming over with Paul" Billy replied.

"Alright" Jacob stood up and looked at me "Would you like me to show you your room? You know you could settle in and rest for the five minutes that would take Rach to get here"

I nodded and started to follow him.

"Jaime" I turned around and Billy was turning his chair to face me. His face changed from the kind, joyful like to a pained and a fearful one "I am very sorry, my girl"

I took a deep breath to keep away the tears. I would not cry in front of them. I nodded my head again.

"I know. And I am too" I said looking in his eyes. I turned around and walked past Jacob into the hallway.

He caught up with me and lead me to the second door on the left. He opened the door for me, flicked the light on and gestured with his hand for me to enter. It was a beautiful room, so simple, yet so homey and warm. It had light yellow walls and two beds and a dresser. There was a mirror that had some pictures glued up on it. My bag was on the bed near the door. Beside it, there were some towels, quilts, bed sheets and pillow cases.

"I'll let you get familiar with everything. The bathroom if right opposite to you. And if you need any extra sheets, quilts, towels, anything just let me know"

"Thank you" He nodded and closed the door.

I walked to the bed that was by a big window that had a light see-through white curtain covering it. I slid my bad off my shoulder and put in on the bed. I realised that I still had Jacob's jacket on. I took it off and put it on the bed beside the bed. It was a bit chilly, but nothing I can't take.

I decided I might just start un-packing and putting things in the dresser for easier access later. I opened the bag and started getting out my black skirt. I needed to hang it or it would get wrinkled. I looked up and noticed a small door in the corner of the room. I went over to it and fair enough, it was a really tiny closet that would just do.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror and noticed I looked like hell. My hair was a mess and sticking out in very direction as if running away from the bun. I had dark circles under my eyes and my face was puffy and tired. I decided I better freshen up. No need to show anyone that I couldn't hold myself together.

I got out a pair of clean jeans and a blue hoodie. I also got out my bag of toiletries, brush, blow dryer and the makeup kit that Sean insisted I pack, saying I might just need it.

I got out a small shampoo, conditioner and body wash bottles from my toiletries. I put them over my clothes that I will be wearing with my wash cloth. I grabbed a towel from the pile on the bed and started to head for the bathroom.

As I was about to close the door to the bathroom, Jacob was coming out of his room. He smiled at me and said "If your gonna use the shower, you will need to wait for a couple of minutes for the water to warm up" I smiled and nodded.

The bathroom had blue tiles on the walls. The floor, sink, toilet and shower were white. I put my thinks on the sink, after making sure it was dry. I then turned on the shower water, to give it time to warm, until I undresses.

I tested the water with my hand first and found that it was warm enough. I stepped under the spray of now hot water. I ran my hands over my hair and body making sure everything was wet. I poured some shampoo over my hands and started to rub my long hair clean. I washed it off my hair and applied some conditioner to rest in my hair while I washed my body.

I let the now steaming hot water run down my body, as if washing away all my tiredness, soreness and pain. If felt like it might actually balance up my emotions and take away everything that messes up my life right now.

I let myself sob quietly, not knowing my tears from the water. I let the grief engulf me and broke down. I needed to do it now, instead of dong it with everyone watching me. I was not about to let anybody feel pity for me, the little girl that killed her parents.

Of course, nobody knew the reason behind the accident my parents had. It was only known that some drunk driver behind them on the highway, crushed into them and caused their car to fly and flip multiple times.

But I knew why they were on the highway, I knew the reason they were speeding too.

My hands found my face and covered it up as my sobs became louder, turning into cries. I sunk to the shower ground on my knees and put my arms around myself, as if to ensure that am gonna be holding myself together.

There was suddenly a small, quite knock on the bathroom door. "Jamie?" Jacob's voice called me.

"One minute and I'll be out" I raised my voice so he would here me over the shower noise.

I stood up and closed my eyes, pointing my face towards the shower head, as if to erase all traces of tears. I closed the shower and got out, wrapping the warm towel around my body.

I got dry and dresses. I gathered my things and went to the room. My hair was still dripping wet. I tried to dry it with the towel, but it wouldn't. So I gave up and plugged my blow dryer. Ten minutes and I was done. I ran the brush along it and it fell smoothly over my shoulders in waves of gold.

Satisfied with how I looked, I headed outside. I could hear someone laughing, a woman.

Everybody looked up at me when I came into the living room. Billy was smiling. The woman, who I assumed must be Rachel, gave me a shocked look, then smiled. She was standing at the stove with Jacob by her side. She came over to me and flung her hands around my shoulders pulling me to her.

I gasped with shock. And Jacob was laughing behind me.

"Rachel, give the girl a break. You could at least have introduced yourself or shook her hand first"

Rachel was not listening. She kept on holding me, and I automatically found my hands rounding her back.

"It's so good to have you Jaime" She pulled back with a huge smile on her face and tears rolling down her cheeks.

I couldn't help but smile as well. She was looking at me like I was her long lost sister. _Well, I kind of am._

"It's good to be here too" I let out a breath and laughed quietly with her.

She took my hand and pulled me towards the sitting area, where Billy was sitting with, what could have been Jacob's twin.

"Jaime, this is my husband, Paul" She gestured at him with such a goofy smile over her face.

He stood up, and extended a hand to me. I took it with hesitation in me. He seriously looked like he just wanted to punch me in the face.

"Pleasure" He said roughly. I nodded at him and Billy cleared his throat. I looked at Rachel and she was giving Paul a death glare.

Paul was so muscular and tall. He had short hair like Jacob and russet skin. _What is with these Quileute guys? Are all of them like this?_

"Am just gonna go put the food on the table and dinner will be ready"

"Do you want any help" I asked eager to just leave the tense living room.

"No honey, you just got here. Rest" She gave me a warm smiled and left.

I sat down in the loveseat nearer to Billy. He was between me and Paul. The television was on and they seemed to be watching some game.

"Do you like to watch sports Jaime?" Billy grabbed my attention. Paul was starting at me, as if waiting for me to just say the wrong thing. I gulped.

"Umm…yea sure. I like tennis a lot. I used to watch all the tournaments when I was younger. Now, I only get to see some matches when am free" Billy was smiling at me and Paul just rolled his eyes.

"Who do you like?" Billy seemed interested and by now Paul had just turned his attention back to whatever was on.

"Rafael Nadal. And that Australian player, Hewitt" Billy nodded as if in agreement "He's really good, he just needs to catch up"

"I think tennis is such a girl's game" Paul said with a smirk.

I didn't like that Paul, not an inch. I couldn't believe someone as kind hearted and friendly as Rachel would fall in love with such a jerk. _Well, she doesn't have to be in love with him. She could have married him, just for the sake of marriage and a family. _But she didn't seem like that kind of a person to me.

"On the contrary. Tennis is such a classy game. It is a one man game. You don't have anybody but yourself to depend on. It needed brutal strength, patience and strategy. Only real men can play and succeed in this game" Billy smirked right back at Paul, then turned to me and winked. I couldn't help but smile back. I liked Billy a lot. He just seemed so much like…_So much like dad_.

"Dinner is ready" I looked around and Rachel was placing a bowl on the small wooden table.

Paul got up and walked towards the table. I moved behind Billy's chair and turned it around. Jacob moved to help me.

"No, I got this" I rolled Billy over to his empty spot.

"Thank you child" He nodded and smiled "Sit next to me"

I took the seat next to him and looked at the food. There was a bowl of fresh salad, some bolognas pasta and chicken. Everything looked so good.

I couldn't remember the last time I ate, let alone had a home cooked meal. Rachel began to pour some food in her father's plate.

"Looks great honey" Billy complemented her. Rachel blushed a little

"Thanks dad" She looked over to me "What would you like Jaime? I know there isn't really much choice around here. If you don't like anything here I can make you something else real quick"

I shook my head quickly "No, no this is fantastic. Really. I will just have some salad"

She nodded her head and turned to her husband to put him food. Jacob, who was sitting on my other side, passed me the salad. I smiled in gratitude.

Everybody was eating in silence. And I didn't really look up from my plate. I wasn't hungry and didn't feel like eating at all, but I tried to shove some bite down my throat.

"So Jaime…" Rachel's voice broke the uncomfortable silence "Tell us what do you do. Are you in college?"

I looked around and all eyes were on me, except for Paul who was stuffing his face with pasta. _Asshole_.

"Umm…I finished high school a year ago and I couldn't decide right away about college, so I decided to take like a year off and maybe apply next year" Rachel was nodding at me.

"And what are you doing right now? Do you work?" Billy asked.

"Yea, I work in a dance studio near home. I am a dance instructor. I teach teen and young adult classes" Paul snorted. Billy and Rachel glared at him.

"Ouch, Rach, that hurts" I didn't know what she did, but I wanted to kiss her.

A lot of people did not appreciate what I did, or didn't find it respectable enough. But I didn't care. I loved what I did and wouldn't change it for anything else.

"That's really nice Jaime. You must have a lot of fun" Rachel was trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Yes. I meet a lot of inspiring young people, who try to do what they love. Some work through their problems by dancing. And it feels good that maybe am helping them out"

"And were do you live?" Jacob asked me between bites.

"I live at down town, LA" He nodded.

"George lived downtown?" Billy asked stiffly. I knew he didn't want to upset or remind me.

"No" I hesitated a little "I live with my boyfriend, Sean. I umm…I moved in with him after graduation. My parents' house was two hours away from me" I looked back at my plate, scared of meeting anyone's eyes. I took really deep, quite breaths to calm myself down.

"Independence is good. It's good you were trying to have your own life" Billy said lightly "Am sure you still saw your parents frequently" The fork kind of slipped out of my hand and fell with a loud bang on the china plate.

I felt like I was choking. I was on the edge of crying. The air was suddenly so tense, that I could have cut it with a knife. Time was slower than a snail. I pushed my chair and got up.

"Thank you so much, the food was great. But I am really tired." Rachel looked a bit disappointed. Paul was still stuffing his face off. Jacob seemed like he didn't know what to say.

"Of course dear" Billy said finally "If you need anything, we're still gonna be up for a while" I just nodded and practically ran to my room.

I closed the door behind me and rested on it for a minute to catch my breath, then went to get my phone.

It started to ring when I got it out. _Sean_. I started crying once I answered the phone.

"Sean"

"Babe? Are you alright? What's wrong?" He sounded concerned.

"I just wish you were here. I need you so much to hold me right now. Please come, baby, please" I was begging him. He sighed.

"Jaime, I miss you so much and I wish I could be there too. Just calm down babe. Are you alone?"

"Yea"

"Can you lay down? Is there like a bed or a couch?" He was trying to sound optimistic.

"Yea" I was still crying.

"Get under the covers baby, and I'll hold you tight" I pushed the quilt back and got under it, still clutching the phone to my ear.

"Sean?"

"Am still here. Am not going anywhere. Close your eyes and just listen to me" I obeyed "I love you so much, JJ. And I miss you like hell. But am with you every step of the way, and I support every little thing you do" I took a big calming breath. My tears were starting to lighten up.

"I love you more"

"So, how was the day? Was the flight good?" His voice was calm and soothing me.

"Yes it's alright. God, Sean, it is so cold in here. I didn't know. But then my cousin lent me his jacket until we got to their house"

"Did you meet your uncle?" I could feel just a little bit of concern in his voice at this.

"Yea, he's…he's really nice"

"That's good. What about that cousin of yours? What's his name again?"

"Jacob. Yea, he's alright. Tried to make me feel better by making jokes. I appreciated it"

"What about your other ones?"

"I only met Rachel…umm Rebecca lives in Hawaii"

"Is she nice?"

"Yes, very. Once she saw me, she just hugged me real tight. I felt so welcomed" I smiled at the memory "But that _husband _of hers, God…" I frowned.

"uh-oh" He said sarcastically.

"He is such an ass. He just kept starting at me, like I had a third eye or something. And…and whenever I said something he would mock me. And when I said I was teached at the studio, he just…Uhgg"

"Calm down, sweetie. Just be cool and ignore him. I bet he just feels weird cause you look differently that what they thought you would. You don't exactly look native American babe"

"I know, I know" He yawned.

"You must be tired, love" I felt bad for keeping him awake "Go to bed"

"No I wanna stay for just a little while. I missed you" I smiled at the change of his voice.

"I missed you too"

"You know what I would do if I was holding you now?" He asked huskily.

"I could guess, but you know I suck at guessing"

"Let's see, I would hold you to me so tight that you would be warm in an instant. And I would rash your shoulders and neck in sweet kisses…" He trailed off and sighed. I giggled.

"Wow, wow, slow down cowboy, I hate it when you have to take cold showers" I teased him. I heard him groaning.

"Not fair, Jaime. You know you can help me out" I smiled

"No, I can't. Not here"

"Why not? You're alone, in a warm bed, with the door closed…" He trailed off. I giggled again.

"I know. But Jacob and Billy's rooms and so close. I won't feel comfortable" He sighed.

"Fine. But it's your loss" I smiled.

"I know babe. I know" He yawned again "You better go to sleep or you won't be able to wake up tomorrow"

"Alright. I love you Jaime"

"I love you"

"Please call me whenever, yeah?"

"Of course, who else do I have but you to keep me safe" I assured him.

"Night honey"

"Night babe"

I closed the phone and out it on the night stand near the bed. I was already comfy and didn't feel like getting out of bed. But I had to brush my teeth and close the lights at least.

I grabbed my toothbrush and went for the bathroom. I could hear Rachel and Billy talking in the living room.

When I was done I went back to my room and changed into some sleep clothes and closed the lights.

I tucked myself in bed, and my subconscious mind flashed me my mother's sweet voice singing me Charles Aznavour so that I would sleep.

I drifted of in a restless sleep with wet checks.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four - Unbalanced**

_What the hell is this light? Ughh…This is not my bed, not my bed cover. Where the…._

As I looked around the room more, I started to remember where I was.

La Push, Washington DC.

_God, this is just…._

I was not a morning person. I dragged myself out of bed and felt a bit cold, so I put on one of Sean's over sized college sweatshirts. _I need some coffee, right now!_

I put my arms around myself and walked bare foot down the hallway. I could hear the television on and someone talking in the kitchen.

"You are never gonna leave for that long, ever again" Jacob's voice was husky and intense.

My lids were still heavy and I could barely see my way. Once I got into the kitchen, I saw Jacob lip locked with some bronze haired beauty. I passed them and grabbed the mug off the sink.

I tried to open my eyes for a second and looked around for the coffee pot and spotted it behind Jacob.

I sighed and walked to where Jacob was resting against the counter. I started to try to push and squizzed myself behind his back. But with no use. Damn, he was almost as heavy as a bull.

"Coming through. Get a room" I yelled at him.

"Which one?" He mumbled against her lips with an idiot smile on his face.

"Oh my God, I just puked a little in my mouth!" I was almost fully awake now "Either pass me that damned coffee pot or move the hell outta my way, Jake" I was angry, grumpy, and frustrated.

He reached an arm behind him and got a hot of the steaming hot coffee pot with his bare hands, pushing it down the counter towards me. My eyes were wide open and my mouth was hanging to the floor.

"Did you seriously not feel that, like at all?"

"Huh?" He was busy sucking his girl's face to even acknowledge me.

"Jesus Jake, you're gonna feel that in about an hour" He didn't even flinch. _That is if he wasn't stripping her by then, or worse!_

I purred myself some coffee and started to move to my room. I took my first sip. _This is my cocaine. _

I decided I would just get over with unpacking. I didn't know what would be happening today, but I just wanted to keep my mind off everything else.

After a while, a soft knock came to my door.

"Come in" I said softly.

"Jaime" Billy's voice startled me. I actually did expect Jacob. I went quickly to the door and opened it. Billy was smiling at me.

"Morning dear. Mind if I come in for a minute"

"Of course" I made way for him to roll in. I went and rested over the dresser. I had a feeling this was going to be uncomfortable.

"How was your night? Did you sleep well? Bed any good?" He asked in a hasty manner.

"Yes Billy. The room is very comfortable. Thank you" I assured him.

He began fumbling with his hands and fingers as if nervous about something.

"Jaime, I need to tell you something" He looked up at me with so much guilt and sadness that I chocked on my breath "We, no actually I, arranged for the funeral to be tomorrow"

I just stood there, starting at him, like I froze. This is too soon. I was not ready for this. _No, no, no, this is just too soon…I can't do this_.

"I need to know if you would like to join me and my really good friend, Charlie, in a little while. We are going to go to the funeral home to decide on everything"

I still didn't say anything, but now I was starting into space. My breath was hitching. Subconsciously, one of my hands reached up to cup my throat as if I couldn't breath.

"Jaime" Jacob was suddenly holding me by the shoulder and shaking me. I felt a couple of tears escape my eyes. I looked into his warm brown eyes.

"My mum…" I trailed off and he was pulling me to him. Warping an arm around me and resting my head over his chest with the other hand.

"I know" He cooed "You don't have to do anything Jaime. We will take care of everything. And we can postpone the funeral if you feel that you are not ready for it. You don't have to go through anything"

I shock my head against his chest. I was not going to run away. I was going to face it all. I will be alright. I can…_I can't and don't have to think about anything._ I knew what I had to do.

I pulled away from Jacob and walked towards the window and looking out into the clouded sky, with my back to them.

"Just give me a minute to get ready" I said flatly to no one in particular.

"Ja - " I didn't give Jacob a chance.

"I will be ready in a minute" I snapped. I wrapped my arms around myself. I heard Billy's chair rolling outside and a few moments later, Jacob's heavy steps followed and the door clicked shut.

I was going to do whatever I had to do. I don't need to feel it, or think about it. I'll just do it. _Like this is going to solve or make anything better. You're still running away, Jaime._

I ignored the voice in my head, and reached for a tank top and the hoodie I wore the day before. I quickly changed and grabbed the coffee and gulped the rest down. I grabbed a rubber band and pulled my hair in a messy bun.

I was ready. I was going to do this.

I grabbed my purse and made sure it had everything; wallet, cell phone, hospital documentation, my parents' records and identifications. I looked through my suit case and found the photo album that I got with me. I put it in as well.

I carried Jacob's jacket with me and my coffee mug and headed outside.

"Did you really have to tell her now dad?" Jacob's voice was angry.

"Jacob, calm down" The bronze girl put a hand on his shoulder "She had to know. Billy did the right thing"

They all felt silent and looked at me as I made my way to the kitchen. I got hold of the coffee pot and purred myself another mug. I turned around and rested against the counter as I starting sipping.

Billy was looking so guilty. Jacob was looking at me with a raised eyebrow and the bronze girl was expressionless. I decided I'd break the silence.

"So how are we going to the funeral home?" I looked at Billy. He looked up as if surprised that I'm still talking to him.

"Umm…Charlie will be picking us up" He mumbled. I nodded and looked around. My eyes locked with bronze girl and she smiled. I smiled back, but am not sure how it came out.

"Am Ness" She moved from Jacob's side with an extended arm towards me. I shock it gently.

"Jaime" She smiled again. Jacob came behind her and out a hand on her back.

"Am really sorry about earlier" She looked at the floor and was blushing scarlet red "Jacob was going crazy over a couple of days…"

"Couple of day?" Jacob looked at her pissed "It was two weeks Nessie. Two weeks" He counter the number two on his index and middle fingers.

If it was any other time, I would have giggled. But I couldn't. I didn't have the energy.

"Anyways" She rolled her eyes at him "Jacob told me you were not prepared for the weather here, so I took the liberty of bringing you one of my jackets and a coat" She pointed to a chair on the dinning table that had plastic rapped packages with hangers on top "I just hope they fit"

I was shocked by the act. Jacob's jacket would have done just fine.

"Thanks. You really didn't have to. I was going to manage…" She nodded and smiled shyly.

I was getting uncomfortable. She is a bit much too sweet. Don't get me wrong, I though she was real nice and cute. I was just not up or ready to make any new friends.

I heard the sound of car tired approaching and a horn.

"That would be Charlie" Billy said as he started heading for the door. I drank what was left of my coffee and placed the mug in the sink. I began to walk towards where Billy way.

"Jaime?" I looked back to see a blushed Nessie "My family would like to meet you very much. My parents were wondering if you would give us the pleasure and come over for dinner tonight. You, Billy and Jacob. We're gonna call and see if Rachel can come too" She looked up with a small smile.

I looked at Jacob behind her, then at Billy.

"Umm…Whatever Billy and Jacob decide" I nodded at her.

"Let's go" Billy cleared his throat and opened the front door. It was a bit chilly. I looked at the plastic bags and groaned internally. I walked quickly and took the first one and opened it. There was a black leather jacket with a bronze zipper down the middle. It looked really nice.

It was the perfect size and very comfortable. I looked up to see Jacob and Nessie watching me. I tried to smile at them.

"Thanks again Ness. It's great" I nodded at her and waved.

When I got up I saw Billy sitting in a police car. His wheelchair was folded and put in the back seat. A man with pale skin, short black hair and brown eyes approached me. He looked middle aged and had a police uniform on.

"Hello. You must be Jaime. Am Charlie" He extended his hand and I shock it.

"Nice to meet you" I nodded. He gestured towards his car and started moving towards the driver's side. That was my queue to get into the car.

The ride to he funeral home was quite. Charlie did not try to make any small talk or ask me anything and I was grateful at that.

I shivered slightly when we got inside. Charlie had helped Billy into his wheelchair and we waited until the coordinator came out to us with the minister.

I told Billy I wanted a black casket for my father and a white one for my mum. I only wanted white flowers.

I got out a picture of my parents and I, when I was almost seven years old. It was right after my first ballet recital. I was wearing my little outfit and standing in front of them, each having a hand on my shoulder. Dad had a hand over my mum's waist and she rested her head over his shoulder.

I didn't look at it much, I knew if I lingered I would break the wall over my emotions.

I gave it to Billy and told him, it would be nice if we were able to put it up. He asked me if I would like to say something tomorrow and I said no.

The minister asked me for some details like their birthdays and wedding date. I answered all his questions without thinking or hesitation. I spilled everything out.

When we got to Billy's house, I waited outside till Charlie helped Billy inside the house. I just walked to my room. I gave up on continuing to unpack. I felt drained from all the concentration my brain had to keep on the emotional wall.

I walked then to my room and threw myself at the bed. It was warm and cozy. I got comfortable and the next thing I knew I was asleep.


End file.
